I was surfing through your journal entires, and saw this little questionnaire you put up about an year ago. I know I'm a little late, but I thought I'd do it anyway.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF I:
I committed suicide: I can't say.
I said I liked you: Pretend I didn't hear you.
I kissed you: Wash the affected area with plenty of soap.
I lived next door to you: Start looking into security systems.
I started smoking: Casually remind you on a periodic basis to start saving up money for your lung operation.
I stole something: I won't tell anyone as long as you split it evenly with me.
I was hospitalized: I'd entertain you by your hospital bed every weekend by riverdancing in a kilt while playing a bagpipe and balancing several dishes on my head.
I ran away from home: Hope that you're safe and happy wherever you are.
I got into a fight and you weren't there: I'd...be somewhere else?

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY:
Personality: I think you are a beautifully conflicted person.
Eyes: Very dark and intense.
Hair: Lol, um, there's lots of it.
Family: I haven't had many chances to get acquainted with your family, so I don't know them very well.

WOULD YOU:
Be my friend?: Yes, unfortunately, since I'm contractually obligated to do so in exchange for the devil granting my wishes of fame and money. I thought he wanted my soul, but he said it was something even worse.
Keep a secret if I told you one?: Yes.
Hold my hand?: No. I don't know where it's been.
Take a bullet for me?: ...Why? Are you in trouble or something?
Keep in touch?: Yes.
Try and solve my problems?: No, but I'd give advice and support.
Love me?: Maybe in a platonic sort of way.
Date me?: No. I'm straight.

HAVE YOU EVER:
Lied to make me feel better?: No.
Wanted to kiss me?: Yes.
Wanted to kill me?: ....Why, what have you heard?
Broke my heart?: Not that I know of. I certainly hope not.
Kept something important from me?: Yes. I'm pregnant with your child, and I have a rare tropical disease that I caught while swimming with caimans in South America. Also, I've been cheating on you with three other women.
Thought I was unbearably annoying?: No.

AND MORE...
1. Who are you? Why do you ask so many questions?
2. Are we friends? Lol, aren't we?
3. When and how did we meet? In the girl's locker room during the beginning of 9th Grade.
6. Describe me in one word. Pineapple.
7. What was your first impression? Here's another person who makes me feel short.
8. Do you still think that way about me now? Yes.
9. What reminds you of me? Gee, I don't really know, lol.
10. If you could give me anything what would it be? I'm not really sure.
11. How well do you know me? I think I know your outer personality pretty well, but there are still parts of your deeper, inner self that remain a mystery to me.
12. When's the last time you saw me? On Independence Day, when we all saw fireworks and then went to eat at Denny's.
13. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? Not really.
14. Are you gonna paste this to your journal see what I say about you? Sure.